Christmas became a hard season for me five years ago. Maybe even earlier, I can't quite put my finger on it. And since it's a painful situation to begin with, putting my finger on it only seems to make it worse anyways. So I'm backing off with the finger pointing. I have neither the energy or the courage to truly bare my soul to you and explain my grief, so I will summarize: divorce is nasty business. The death of my marriage has introduced me to concepts of grief that I thought were only experienced by those who have lost a loved one to actual death. But something did die. My marriage.     And Christmas is a grief-anniversary. Because the traditions surrounding Christmas are usually about family togetherness and our family is not... together. And some of the Christmas seasons have been harder than others, but each time I try to trick myself into thinking I'm "there." I'm "back..." I'm ready to do all the cool-mom things I used to do. I'm ready to